This is Umbrella or what?

LOL

Chinese joke 1

A plane leaves the Los Angeles airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together, and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese." "No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "why not?"

"You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that's why!"

"No, no," the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Pearl Hahbah! That Japanese, not Chinese."

"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese...doesn't matter, you're all alike!"

There's a few minutes of silence.

"No rike Jews!" the co-pilot suddenly announces.

"Why not?" asks the captain.

"Jews sink Titanic."

"Jews didn't sink the Titanic!" exclaims the captain, "it was an iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, Steinberg, no mattah...all same!"

Chinese joke 2

A lady sees some Chinese characters on a Chinese menu. She likes them, so she goes home and makes a shirt with the symbols on it. Later that day, she bumps into a Chinese person. The person looks at her and says "Do you know what your shirt says?" The lady admits that she doesn't know and asks the man to translate. The man says, "Your shirt says 'cheap but good'."